Happy Birthday, Get Naked!

Though I do not feel or look like it (just last month someone asked me what high school I go to) today I turned 25! I woke up to find this beautiful little cake that Britt had gotten and crammed 25 candles into.

We spent the morning at Qutb Minar (which deserves it’s own post and will be up later this week), and then we headed off to my birthday surprise, an afternoon at the spa. This wasn’t your feel-good, deep-tissue massage with light music serenading you in the background. No. This was an Indian Ayurveda wellness spa.

Prior to the massage we were both asked a round of questions ranging from “what type of weather do you prefer?” to “how are your bowel movements?” After that we were each taken in to our own rooms, and upon walking into mine I could have easily mistook it for a torture chamber.

Had any unknowing person walked in during the massage, they probably would have mistook the goings-on for a torture treatment (and at times it felt like one!). As soon as you’re in the room you’re told to get naked, but you’re allowed to wear these disposable underwear that they give you. They’re completely see-through and they end up pulling them down later anyway, so I don’t really see the point in putting them on in the first place.

You start off with a head massage that involves pulling of the hair, smacking of the head and a lot of oil. Then, you’re face is “massaged” with the same vigor that an African housewife has when washing her husbands clothes in the river. Now, the slapping begins, on your face! They literally slap your face. I had to bust out laughing because it felt like the therapist was seeing just how much she could get away with in the name of “wellness.” Upon seeing my amusement she stopped beating me up and covered my face with mud, then left me lying there (naked) for what felt like an hour (but was more along the lines of 30 minutes). With my face still covered in mud, the therapist came back with another girl and they both went to town dousing me in hot oil and rubbing down in a synchronized fashion. “Relax, Mum.” they kept saying to me. I just got my face beaten to a pulp then covered in mud, I’m lying on this incredibly uncomfortable wooden table, naked, with two strangers aggressively rubbing me with hot oil. How the hell am I supposed to relax?! And so it went from front to back, with more rubbing, slapping, poking and smacking for another incredibly long hour. When they were through, I was shut inside of a steam box to finish off the “treatment.” It was so strange, and uncomfortable, but I must say that my skin does feel good. Not good enough to go through all of that again, however!

We ended the night with a fantastic dinner, and then it was time for cake! This has definitely been a birthday to remember! Here’s to the next 25!


9 thoughts on “Happy Birthday, Get Naked!

  1. Aww. Happy Birthday! That sounds like a memorable one for sure! I’m also in India and my friends and I have been talking about a spa day for at least a week now.
    …. after reading this post however, I’m not sure if I’m brave enough to try this technique (lol).

    1. I hope you’re enjoying India as much as we are! If you’re thinking of doing a spa day, then I would steer clear of Ayurveda, unless of course you’re in the mood to get roughed-up in oil while naked. To each his own, I suppose!

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